1996 - My Messed Up Life

Since David and I started dating (12 years ago), I have not written in a journal.  In fact, I have not written in a journal since my mission (14 years ago).  Sad, I know.  So, I thought that I would bounce back and forth from the past to the present.  So, I am now going back 12 years.  I want to write a brief history for my children to have regarding are beginning.  The beginning of 1996 I was working in Salt Lake at a law firm as a legal assistant.  I was living on my own and making really good money.  I was attending a young adult ward in Bountiful (the same ward I had been attending for six years).  I had just ended a 9 month relationship with a great guy (who is still not married today).  I was absolutely miserable.  I felt trapped and like I was suffocating.  I hated my job and felt like I was going nowhere.  I was "hanging out" with about 10 different people both guys and girls (8 of them are still single today).  I decided I needed to make some serious changes in my life.  I quite my job, moved in with my parents and started attending the University of Utah full-time.  I was still attending the same young adult ward.  In the summer of 1996 President Hinckley spoke in some meeting (I can't remember exactly) instructing the young adults that they needed to return to their wards in which they belong and changed it so anyone over 30 could no longer attend a singles ward.  Most young adults I knew were not attending the ward in which they lived.  They would ward hop and go to the ward they wanted to, me included.  I was told I would have to leave the ward I was attending and start attending the young adult ward with the boundaries of where I lived.  It was a great leap of faith and obedience on my part to leave the ward I loved and felt comfortable in and start attending a ward where I knew no one.  The first Sunday I sat by myself in the back and felt so much anxiety as I sat and watched people mingle with their friends.  In fact, I went home and just cried.  I wanted to return to my old singles ward so bad.  But, the prophet had spoken and I had to be obedient.  The following Saturday, the singles ward had a spaghetti dinner and game night.   So, with all the courage I had I went.  Side note, my patriartical blessing said that I would meet my husband in a church activity.  During the activity we played the game "Do you love  your neighbor?"  In the middle of the circle was this guy wearing a sage green hat.  He had the best eyes I had ever seen.  They matched the color of his hat.  I instantly was attracted to him.  I don't know why because he was different from anyone I had ever been attracted to before.  His name, David Collins.  I returned home that night and my mom asked how it went. I said, "there is one cute guy with these gorgeous eyes and he is really funny, but he dresses so bad."  To be continued. . .